Dating App Abroad: How to Tell If They’re Serious or Just ‘Curious

You’re swiping in a new country — or getting messages from across the globe — and suddenly the question arises: Are they actually into me… or just into the idea of me?

Cross-border dating can be thrilling. But it’s also fertile ground for fantasy, false intimacy, and fleeting curiosity. So how can you tell if someone’s genuinely invested or just exploring?

1. They avoid specifics.

Someone who never talks about how to meet, when they’re free, or what they want long-term is likely not serious. If everything stays vague — “someday,” “maybe” — they’re probably enjoying the attention, not planning a future.

2. They disappear for days.

Time zones are no excuse for erratic communication. A committed match stays connected. Whether it’s a quick check-in or a planned call, consistency is key.

3. They romanticize the distance.

Be wary if they say things like “It’s better this way — no pressure!” or “It’s nice to have someone far away who just gets me.” These are emotional loopholes, not love declarations.

On the flip side, here’s what serious interest looks like:

• Initiating conversations and asking about your day, not just their own
• Making time for video calls — even with the time difference
• Planning visits or showing willingness to figure out a meet-up
• Talking about logistics, not avoiding them
• Asking questions about your culture, language, or lifestyle out of true interest

When someone is serious, you’ll feel calm, seen, and included in their world — not left guessing where you stand.

Pro tip: Watch their actions, not just their emojis. Anyone can send a heart. Fewer people will plan a call at 3am to match your timezone because they care.